Absolut Illusion: Booze in mid air?

-Kaleem

Tis' the season to be jolly!

Yo hommies, have yourselves a splendid and very ghetto Christmas! I know it ought to be a secret but this year, my gift to y'all would be a spankin' new tagboard HAHA. Peace out (said in the style and gusto of Usher in 'Yeah!') and spread da ghetto love in Big Style.
-Kaleem

Hakone.

Lake Ashi with Mount Fuji in the distance at sundown. Simply idyllic.
-Kenneth Wong

Havoc Creations.

This is one mother havoc burger I swear. 3 patties with egg and bacon. Holy Shit man!
-Kenneth Wong

A Tribute to the real Sivaghi The B.O.S.S. --- Abdul Malik (Servant of the King, alternatively, King of Servants)

CAVEAT: the following is meant purely to provide good, clean and harmless humour; and at least half of its content is fictional in nature.

The top 7 reasons why Malik is not as religious as he seems to be, corroborated by photos as irrefutable proof:

1. He gets directly involved in a bargain about Thai Honies shortly upon arrival in Phuket.

2. He harbours lustful thoughts about liquor and even digs sniffing beer.

3. He has an insatiably lewd passion for young, tough-looking asian boys, especially those unwitting ones who nap in bars while exposing a lil peekaboo of their chests.

4. He digs bigtime rock music, when he should be devoted only to religious tunes.

5. He wears pink and walks like he owns the whole of bloody patong, when he should be leading a humble life without declaring his big style.

6. He eats non-halal food at times, but was obviously punished with extreme sea-sickness during this particular occasion.

7. He tries to be what God did not mean for him to be -- an other-worldly creature.

The 3 reasons why Malik is as religious as he seems to be:

1. He swims in his singlet and shuns earthly comforts such as sunshades just like any conservative Muslim male would.

2. He displays unmatched faith and remains unfazed in the face of imminent death by Christian zealots.

3. Despite facing strong temptations from the secular world to spot a havoc hairdo, he chooses to destroy the havoc look with a few swift and determined strokes of his brush.

1 illogical reason why I don't give a flying shit whether Malik is as religious as he seems or not:

1. He's Abdul Malik aka Sivaghi The B.O.S.S., a dear dear friend of mine.

Safety 101

Disclaimer: the following content is exclusively meant to provide a safety warning to readers of the blog; the identity of the person in the above image is purely meant to be anonymous and can be analogous to a cartoon drawing with a stick-man subject (the only problem is i can't draw).

For those uninitiated, there are proper ways to wear a life jacket. First, you have to find one that fits you well. Next and more importantly, you have to tighten your waist strap. Failure to do both these 2 steps will result in the above, where the life jacket jacks up your armpits and your body may slip under should you accidentally raise your arms.
-Kenneth Wong

P.S the above caution doesn't apply to superheroes or immortals such as Siwaji-da-boss since he never dies.

MacDonald's most havoc creation

This is MOTHER Big Style!
-Kenneth Wong

The Marooned 5

The Marooned 5

by

Luke Peter

Introduction

Our trip to phuket was among the most enjoyable vacations that I have had.. There was many sights and sounds to take in and many lessons to learn, some of which i think nary of us was expecting before we left Singapore.

Chapter 1

Along with the fact that it takes as long to travel from Singapore to Phuket as from the airport to our hotels, one of the first lessons we learnt thanks in part to malik's eager converstion was one that im sure many elderly male tourists took to heart and to Bangla road.. no money, no honey...

Chapter 2

None of us will soon forget the bustling street known as Bangla Road which we set our eyes upon on the very night that we got our asses rocked of at the unparallelled Rock City. Ken may have gotten his ass rocked off later in the night than the rest of us though, since he decided that rock city was tame enough for him to have a nap in.

Chapter 3

Patong Beach, home to massages, hair braiding, expensive umbrellas and crocodiles... We were lucky to emerge unscathed, especially since in addition to the crocodiles, Phuket is littered with numerous land mines...

Chapter 4

The speedboat we took to Phi Phi Island must be driftwood on the ocean by now, unless its hull is reinforced with titanium. Probably the least comfortable journey I have ever been on and yet one that I have no regrets embarking upon, for paradise and most unexpectedly, a space explorer awaited us on the other side.

Chapter 5

As our journey reached its final chapter, I could not help but feel slightly overcast, much like the sky on our way to the airport. It was a trip of laughter, friendship and good times, not forgetting good food and it was saddening that it was nearing its end. The sea may wash away our footprints in the sand, destroying any evidence of our evanescent presence there, but our photos are testament to that havoc holiday of December 2007. Goodbye Phuket. Thanks for the memories. Big Style.

~The End~

Air Guitarists are Morons

That is all.

-Luke

Everything happens for a reason, what's yours?

My top 10 reasons to cut class and jet off to the far east :

1) to dodge the gloom at Bristol
2) to take a hair-raising speed-boat ride that brought turbulence to a whole new level
3) to sip on my pina coladas and coconuts on white sandy beaches
4) to getta tan
5) to tantalize my palate with exotic food
6) to charm my eyes with the bikini/scantily-clad (strictly females with XX chromosomes mind you!) that pepper the beaches
7) to play one too many games of bridge even though I constantly dealt (cause somehow I always ended up shuffling) myself cards the salvation army would reject. it was one mother horrid night of cards.
8) to pander in the banter
9) to simply relax
10) to cherish the good times with my friends

With such big-time reasons like these, I cannot see why anyone would rather spend their last week of the academic term in school.
-Kenneth Wong