Means and Ends

So what does this mean and how does it end, you must be asking yourselves. Haha, I sincerely apologise for my intellectual humour and failure at clairvoyance. Really, this is an entry that marks the unofficial end of the 2yr 8mth hiatus from my original route of life - the means to the eventual end. The SAF stint is nothing but a detour, a detraction from the means, that I have just mentioned, to my particular end. Sure, it has taught me things, among them being how to be independent, mentally tougher and gave me an insight through personal experience into how much our amazing physical bodies, that God has bestowed upon us, can actually be pushed to near indefinite limits. It has also taught me how fucked up organizations and the people that are part of them are. And the thing that scares the shit out of me is envisaging the highly probable future of me and you working for a lousy organization for the bulk of our lives and being one of their rats. Big or small, thin or fat, clean or dirty, black white or grey, smart or stupid, you're still a rat. Period. This leads me to my next point.

But before that, allow me to elaborate a little on what I’ve done and learnt during these 5 mths of non-stop slacking. I’ve read political philosophical and socio books that have granted me insights through the minds of remarkable politicians and thinkers and enabled me to have a better understanding of our world, society and men. I’ve gymed and jogged and more or less got rid of the ‘uncle’ body and image that Luke had insisted I possessed before he left for studies. I’ve watched many movies, probably almost 40, which I’ve missed out on and learnt many lessons from them besides the cinematic pleasure. I’ve caught up with friends that matter to me and even rekindled a couple of stale friendships. I’ve traveled to India and China and drew a wealth of lessons, knowledge and experience from there. So, it was really a cool 5 mths of pleasure, carefreeness and some growing-up. Yes, I certainly hope that I’ve been progressing in life and that I’m ready to tackle the next phase – yet another means to the desired end.
Back to my previous point. No, I don't intend to be an eventual rat. Maybe a temporal rat, with it being an inevitable part of the means I mentioned earlier, but not a permanent rat - a rat so full blown in its maladies and filth that even the sewers shun it. Speaking about means and ends, I must admit that I adopt the Machiavellian philosophy with a slight twist. The end is definitely more important than the means to me and part of achieving the desired end includes committing a necessary evil to root out a greater one, of course done with extreme discretion. I’d like to take this opportunity to state it down in black and white for recording purposes that I intend to fulfill either one or a combination of these 3 means/ends in life: 1. Be my own boss eventually so I’ll never have to look up to anyone. 2. Have such a fulfilling career that I actually don’t mind looking up to someone. 3. If all else fails, retire by 40 a multi millionaire.

Before I conclude, I just watched A Bronx Tale which was directed by Robert De Niro and also starring him. Just a background of the movie set in the Bronx of 1960s, De Niro is the morally upright and strict dad and Chazz Palminteri is the cool mafia boss who plays godfather to the boy cos the boy saved him from the cops. Both impart different yet similar values to the boy, the dad with his morally accurate and no-nonsense values, and the godfather with his gangster brand of values. Both these men helped shape the childhood and young adulthood of the boy as well as his thinking and values. At the end of the show, the boy narrated this: ‘Sonny and my father always said that when I get old I’ll understand. Well, I finally did. I learnt something from these 2 men: I learnt to give love and get love unconditionally; you just have to accept people for what they are. And I learnt the greatest gift of all: the saddest thing in life is wasted talent. And the choices that you make will shape your life forever. You can ask anybody from my neighbourhood and they will tell you this is just another Bronx tale’. I’ve learnt something from this show and I just wanted to pass it on to you guys.

I chose this time to add in this entry cos fri marks the unofficial start of the new phase when my social science orientation commences. So yeah that’s it from me, thanks for bearing with me, and rock on, Amigos.

Justin