I'm Having Trouble Sleeping..

As this title suggests, I haven't been able to sleep for more than 3 hours since returning from a very scrumptious dinner. This is not to forget that I've only slept for 4 hours the day before. This has got nothing to do with jet lag or the cold i'm suffering from. Instead, I am engrossed with my work, and this has stood between myself and my slumber. Understandably, in light of my apathetic and half hearted attempts at this discipline, I don't think you'd even entertain the possibility of a change of heart.

However, in case you all are not aware, this negative attitude has radically changed. In addition to avoiding a 2nd lower grade, I have been very motivated to atone for the academic futility of my past 2.5 years. Recently, this desire has been translated into 2 weeks of sheer hard work as I endeavoured to craft my final year project. Fuelled by nothing but the will to survive, I have slept for few hours per day and did not eat until I was done with my work, which was usually around 2am. Although this was scary, it was nevertheless necessary to attain my objectives since I was pressed for time. I needed a first class to save my degree, of which I had no idea how to do that. All I knew was that I'd to find a way, somehow. As such, I constantly ruminated on my material and hoped that a flash of brilliance would save me. All I really wanted was to be back in the game.

My glimmer of hope arrived when I received my 2 other results. The fact that they weren't horrible uplifted my spirits and made me even more determined to attain outstanding academic excellence. At that time, I knew I had no choice but to craft the essays of my lifetime. This entailed trawling through and perusing multiple academic sources, not because I was crazy, but only because I wanted to select the best evidence to help my case. Furthermore, my heart would never be at ease until I became satisfied with my arguments. This is because I hate and scorn mediocre arguments. In essence, my brain would never stop thinking until a good argument arrives. This explains why I have not been able to sleep so far. I have been totally, completely immersed in the law and my work, and I don't see this trait ceasing until all my exams are over. As I have experienced, giving it my all requires so much more effort than making empty promises.

This time, believe me when I say I shall make it. I do not know what the law means to you (if you're studying this course) but it surely means something to me. To live and breathe the law is something I've never felt before, but today, it is hypnotically captivating. I even feel very privileged to have my essays marked and read by established academics like my professors at school. Hence, at least someone in an esteemed position will consider my views. This is unlike legal practice, where the judiciary and executive are understandably more resistant to new ideas, especially when they are voiced by junior lawyers. Worse still, one may not even have the appropriate opportunity to speak. Therefore, I am very thankful to be in this position right now, even though I am merely a law student. I fear saying this but I want to be a somebody someday, and i am going to be assisted with this black suit, tie and white piece of paper.

-Kendaman