I find it really uncanny that my mood and general state of mind can be negative for a period of time, however long or momentous, due to either a culmination of factors or just one big factor like how SMU is wasting my time, effort and compromising my happiness; and yet switch to hints of positivity due to a single incident of which relevance to the current situation is peripheral. My situation is not alleviated but somehow that incident can actually induce me from being moody to being mildly happy.
One of the ridiculous things that has been bogging me down is the ridiculous fact that we're supposed to pair up for our political science term paper, but very very unfortunately, my partner who happens to be in yr 3 didn't get her bid for the course and I was left partnerless. After slcaking around for 2 wks, I was suddenly jolted by the fact that I still haven't got a partner when my prof reminded us that we're choosing our topics soon on a first come first served basis. Hence, the mad scramble began and I realized all the people I know had partners. Before I knew it, the topics were out and I was still hunting for my potential partner so I was delayed in choosing my choice topic, which was already snapped up by extremely 'on' groups, which pissed me off even further. However, today, my friend told me that there's a girl in my class that ain't got a partner too cos her partner bastarded her for his friend, leaving her partnerless. I was extremely apprehensive about it cos as you are fully aware, choosing a gd partner is extremely imperative in ensuring the success of your paper and general happiness during the course of work. I hadn't the slightest inkling on who this girl is - what if she's stupid? what if she's irritating? what if she's a stalker (ok that's a little extreme but possible)? What if she is smelly and has warts? So, I related my problem to my prof whom I happen to be on gd terms with and he replied my email saying that she seems like a nice girl, how he found out I don't know - perhaps he just made a wild judgement from her profile photo. Haha. So, I started considering her seriously and decided to snoop around friendster and try my luck finding out more about her. Ha... jackpot - she was from rgs, rj and apparently looks not bad at all. And she's single. Hahaha. So I called her after getting her number from my friend and we carried on an interesting conversation right from the start. Cool.
Although this incident does not seem to ameliorate the general shittiness of my current circumstances (although it solved a problem), I'm suddenly a happier person. This reminds me of the time when Kenneth was relating to me his betting adventures and he was facing an all-time low point in his life when he was screwing up his studies and everything; and winning that lump of cash would just make him damn happy and totally obviate his sad situation although it's totally irrelevant in alleviating his circumstances.
I've realized that these are the little shafts of light we must grasp and appreciate - little tenuous victories that we score along the way, but nonetheless are victories anyway. These are the little things that will make the ride a little less bumpy. Hopefully we all can discover our little victories along the way and make the most out of them.
Justin
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