Why I Do Not drink

We have been writing alot about what we have been doing like Indochine and stuff, but I think we should give our readers some important information as well. People could actually learn from what we do and why we do whatever we do. So I have decided to now talk about why I do not drink. Several times I have been in the hot seat when I am the only one in the group to not drink, and hence I have been at the receiving end of alot of slamming and questions. So well here is my entry on why I, or anyone for that matter, should not drink alcohol. The usual slammings revolve around the point that my religion actually says that you cannot take anything that causes you to lose control of yourself, and because all of us should have the ability to be completely normal after consuming one tea spoon of alcohol, my friends asked me to try just that little bit. When I said the last comment about all of us having the ability to take one teaspoon without losing control, Elvin does come to mind. Can he really handle one teaspoon? Anyway, this tea spoon thing is also rubbish in my opinion. We all know that we get capital punishment for killing someone if it is deliberate and not manslaughter. Although some in this world are really only taking up space and inhaling the whatever remaining oxygen, we still get capital punishment for killing them. Of course, as the size decreases, the punishment decreases too. For example, we may get jailed for killing a cat and get away scot free for killing an insect. This does not mean that it is allright to kill an insect. We should still prohibit ourselves from killing an insect for fun, unless it is really absolutely necessary. Hence, it is not allright to drink one teaspoon of alcohol, we should still prohibit ourselves from drinking it although we hardly get high from consuming it.

We answer the call of nature, or urinate to put it bluntly, for a reason. Our body cannot hold all the water we consume without releasing it. This is also why we are not born with humps like camels, which is used to store large amounts of liquid. Hence, we have to agree that it is not really possible to drink 60 shots or half a bottle of vodka and several jugs of beer during one clubbing session without having to make our way to the washroom a million times. A friend of ours, though, seems to believe that he can do just that. Actually he is convinced! He keeps going on and on about how he drank so much and spend hundreds in one clubbing session and still not get drunk. He does all these in one attempt, without having to go to the washroom. As he does not have a hump yet, it is quite hard for alot of us to believe what he says. So here is point number one, drinking makes you talk cock. Of course it is not necesary to be drunk to talk cock. Warrant marzhuki also was accused by my friend kenneth of talking cock although he was not drunk. What happened after that, well thats another story altogether.

Next, it causes you to believe that you are the most sober one among the lot, although in reality it is really the direct opposite. One other friend claimed to be more sober than the entire group put together. I guess it is not possible to ever know for sure if one person is more sober than the other, but in this case, I was also in the group. I had not touched a single drop of alcohol and he claims to be more sober than me. Shell shocking indeed! He even had the theory that he was trying his best to make us not waste our money by finishing up the alcohol as they had ordered too much. How the hell is he saving our money, whether all the alcohol is finished or not, we still have to pay the same amount! Another friend on that same night also had the theory that since muslims are allowed to eat bread, but while bread is being produced by the fungi, some alcohol is produced. Hence we are actually consuming some alcohol when we eat bread. As i said earlier, we can kill insects if it is totally necessary, and bread is essential. How else can we enjoy soup tulang and soup kambing?

I have been told by my GP teacher that when we write essays we must use facts. All I have written are facts, but you may not know the people involved as they may not be prominent people to you. In my life, though, these people are very important and prominent figures.

Drinking causes you to push one girl's face to another girls breasts. This was done during a clubbing session. I was not actually there to witness it, but from the vivid descriptions from another friend, I know that this really startled everyone present there. You can relate this to centaur warchiefs warstomp as it was an area of effect spell. This same friend also talked about seeing special glitterings in the air, when there was none. Although it is possible that only he could have seen this, as only smart people can actually see the emperors new clothes. I really doubt it. It makes you give some havoc theories too, like how another friend said that he boycotts nestle products as kelloggs has the best cereals. I personally hate cereals, and I guess this is a positive point for drinkers as you can come up with havoc theories. More often than not, though, you say something stupid; like what this same person said on that same night. Imagine you meet a long lost friend and the friend says that he/she has to go back to their native country to study. The reply from my friend was quite straight forward. "why... cannot make it to singapore uni issit" quote unquote. This caused him and me for that matter alot of problems and I shall not talk about this as it is an altogether different issue. One other friend confesses to liking a gal when this gal was already being liked by another person in the same room. Although the other person did not mind one bit, the friend had to continously and very adamantly deny liking the gal at all in the first place.

So there you go, reasons why you should not drink. These may not be enough for many of you guys to resist the temptation, but well, it is certainly enough reason for me.

by Malik
ps: I have not mentioned too many names inside this as I would like their identities to remain a mystery. Maybe after this, I do not need to hear any more persuasions to drink anymore, although i really doubt it!